Five Creative and Clever Ways to Avoid Detention

Obviously, no one wants to spend their valuable time in detention. Having to stay at lunch or after school is the worst part of school. What if I told you I know the secret to avoiding detention altogether?  And by the time you finish reading this article, you’ll know my five secret tricks as well. 

1. Detention repellent spray. A spray a day keeps the DTs away! Did you know that repellent spray for detentions actually exists? Made from a creative mix of chemicals and logic, you have yourself a useful spray. Every morning, take your canister of DT repellent and spray it on yourself; Notably your mouth; that’s where most detentions come from. After doing this, you should never get any detentions ever again! Although, where do you buy this, you may ask? Well, that’s for you to find out. I can’t reveal all my secrets. 

2. Detention-free diet. Couldn’t find the detention repellent spray off the dark web? No worries, ‘cause this easy diet should be accessible to almost every student. To begin with, you’ll want to avoid foods that are messy and dirty. Strangely, this diet recommends you eat lots of broccoli as it contains a chemical proven to help treat various types of cancers and even bad behavior, causing detentions. What’s that? You don’t like broccoli? Well, deal with it. Despite being a very weird diet, it is really effective, and should theoretically get rid of DTs if well followed.

3. Detention excuse generator. If you have a serious problem with constantly being late or have a bit of an attitude, this tiny device should be great for you, as it provides an easy-to-use interface that lets you generate an excuse for any detention. This little plastic device sits in your pocket at all times, ready for use. When needed, simply take it out of your pocket, click the button, and it will print a smart and valid excuse on the screen. Just be sure to be very stealthy. You don’t want to be caught using it.  Now, when you’re late to class, you’ll have a freshly generated excuse: “I had to take a trip to the bathroom after eating the tacos for lunch!!” 

4. Detention Lozenges. Feeling like your teacher is about to give you a detention? Quickly swallow a Detention Lozenge. That will surely make your teacher forget about ever giving you a detention. It’s like Halls, but better. They come in packs of ten, but are rarely in stock. Once you’ve got your hands on these lozenges, feel free to use it anytime you feel that a detention will be issued to you; Magic! (Spoiler alert: Don’t drop it in a bottle of Coca Cola!)

5. Detention Pass. Lastly, here is the detention pass. This secret detention pass is only known and used by a few students at VMC. It is a monthly subscription that lets you get out of any detention. Once subscribed to it, you will receive a physical card. Every time you get detention, you can now just go up to the teacher’s desk and show them your pass. Boom, no more detention.. Sleek and fast, I find this to be the best solution. 

Now, after reading about these five creative ideas to get yourself out of detention, which solution would you pick?